Hello, it is I, the Great Merlino Woolio here to tell you that after peeking into the cosmos, I might know of an exciting event on the way!

And for the low, low price of $9.99 I'd be happy to fill you in on the details and give you your own personalized horoscope.

What's that?

Alpacaraca already told you about a fabulous event this weekend?

I... I see.

Well perhaps I can still interest you in your own personalized horoscope?

I sense... fuzzy...