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Blaaag

On the Tenth Day of Dizzy...

Dizzy, leave me alone! I'm showing off my new candy hammer!
Dizzy, leave me alone! I'm showing off my new candy hammer!

On the tenth day of Dizzy, Dizzy’s deals to me…

Something Malabrigo,

Tweeds and marls exciting,

Sharp and pointy objects,

Squishy sheepy fleecies,

Many stunning colors,

Acc-cess-o-ries!

Chunky bulky yarns,

Soft single plies,

Something al-pac-a,

And a great yarn for socks for my feet!

The other day it occurred to me, why occupy both of your hands when you want to enjoy a little construction and a candy cane at the same time? After much thought and deliberation, I came up with my newest invention.

I present to you, the candy hammer!

Hey it was either that, or the hamdy cane, which sounds like something completely gross. Regardless of the name, now you can hang stockings in festive style! Smite any nail in your path while maintaining sweet, fresh minty breath.

Your astute and inquisitive mind is probably thinking, but Fred, won’t it just break when I hit something? That’s where my gargoyle ingenuity comes in. See, the molecular structure simply needed -

Dizzy what are you doing?? No, I told you we aren’t playing leap frog! Everyone is interpreting this song way too literally! The lords aren’t supposed to be jumping around like idiots, it’s referring to a lordly formal dance or just a general sense of eagerness.

Get away from me!